UPDATE TODAY 23/09/17 - I HAD ANXIETY BECAUSE OF ADSENSE

There's not a story to tell today, but a lot of stuff is happening in my life and I need to vent it out or else I'll just cut myself again. 

Today, I tried to monetized my blog and I received an email from Google saying that my blog has been deleted and it can't detect it. I don't know if this is true or not, but I contacted some of my friends asking them to see if they can still check out my blog or not-everyone of them said yes, but I posted a short story just now and I didn't seem to get a page view and I'm scared that my viewers abroad can no longer see my blog and that I'm going to lose them again [I used to have a blog named Lossng Weight and I had to delete it because of the same glitch], so yeah... Google is giving me an anxiety attack.

EDIT: I just realized that my Adsense account is trying to uncover my old blog Lossng Weight, and since I deleted it they can no longer have access to it, but I didn't read the URL of the mail sent to me by Google and assumed that this blog was the one that has been deleted. If you are asking me why I trying to delete my old blog despite having good memories with it, its because I can't [don't know how] to use my Adsense account and linked it with this one.

Okay, this one just happened today, and is still really fresh in my memory, so I had to get this one out of my system. Today, my father went home from work and told me to buy himself a big bottle of coke. Now, I don't know if I have established this but my entire family is big. Not just big in the sense were tall, no. We are a fat family. My father in particular is taking so many medications and has been advised by doctors to eat certain foods at certain time, or not to get his sugar levels high. Yesterday, our meal is consisted of rice and chicken curry, but my father doesn't eat chicken curry due to some [I'm guessing] traumatic experienced he had in Saudi Arabia, so he ordered me to buy him some eggs in the local convenience store and cooked him some, despite my protest he still got me to cook him eggs which is one of the foods that his doctor told him not to eat at night. My mother found out about this and got angry at me, which is so bizarre because this woman knows that me and my brother have no power in this house and if we disobeyed both of them we'll be enslaved as butlers to pay for our tuition fee. 

Now, that happened yesterday, today, as I established my father went home from work today and he ordered me to buy him a big bottle of coke, not to share for the family, but for himself. As usual I protested and told him that I don't want to, and that I just refilled our water containers and they are called [he was reasoning out to me that there was not a cold beverage in the house], he didn't listened to me, he got angry and used the "I'm the dad" card and told me that as long as I live under his roof, we abide to his rules. I had to caved in because he was upset that I was looking at out for his health [which is puzzling because he often dramatize about what will happen when he's gone or will we mourn about him, looks like we'll mourn about your death sooner than we think].

Another story that just happened 5 minutes ago, is that my father went downstairs to pee and he saw me doing my homework, my asshole of a brother didn't bother to wash the dishes like he was supposed to do, and he looked at me angrily and told me to do the dishes, and he used another card of his, which is "am I the one going to do the dishes", when I heard that it's kind of funny because he never touched a dirty dish because me, my brother, and my mother have and has always done all the household chores in this house.

My house is pretty toxic, if I went to a therapist to deal with my mental disorders I would probably just tell him/her stories of what happened at home instead of finding the root of my problems and actually fixing those. I'm really frustrated to my parents [not just my dad] because they always say that they are busy and it would be nice that they would come home to a clean house because they've done nothing but provide food and a roof above her head, which I'm thankful for btw, but why do they always have to say that as if we burden them, owe them, or that we asked for them to create us. We didn't want to be born out of this world and the only reason why me and my brother is suffering is because you two got horny one night and didn't bother to use a condom; furthermore, its not just you that gets busy, stressed, or worn out, students actually do feel those things because of all the assignments those teachers give, and the toxicity the people you're with inside the classroom, I don't know why parents always make it seems like us kids don't do anything besides goof around, which we can't do because they are always placing this high expectation we have to meet.

Yup, so that's what happened today.



[edit 10/12/17:I just created a Facebook page, make sure you like it!!!]