MY EXPERIENCES IN 8TH GRADE
Most of my insecurities came from being an 8th grader, being 14 years old in the hardest year of my life (academic wise) really took a lot of my self confidence and self-esteem. During 8th grade is when I started liking people less, this is where I became selfish not giving a damn of what people think about me. This is also where my depression and my anxiety was as diagnosed and when it was as its peak. In this blog post, I want to tell you guys 3 stories that started all of this mess. I wanted to generalized everything and tell you guys what I actually happened in 8th grade, but I'm not in a good condition to do so.
FIRST STORY: WEIGHT INVOLVEMENT
I got so insecure about my weight when I became an 8th grade student, I became insecure about all the little details about myself that it became a habit of mine to stop taking pictures of me smiling and whatnot. My insecurities were my height, my weight, my teeth, my feet, my toe hair, my knees (I have a lot of childhood scabs), my face (acne started sprouting out of nowhere), my back (bacne), and my dick size (I'm a guy, this is natural). It was so weird, I was insecure about all of things and then I saw this one article that says that when you lose weight, your self-esteem rises up and you start glowing more, so I tried to lose weight.
I tried doing the no rice diet, but since I ate pasta and bread to make up for the rice I'm not eating, nothing came out of it. I stopped doing the diet when my father made me eat rice in a restaurant saying that the rice here is so expensive and that it would be a waste not to eat it, so I gave in and started eating again. By February 2015, I stumbled upon the 16:8 fast and I did it for 2 weeks with a 24 hour fast for each week. I lost 20 pounds, but I had to stop because my father's birthday was in March and its considered impolite not to eat in someone's birthday (in our culture). I tried going to the gym but it was so expensive that I stopped.
SECOND STORY: SOCIAL INSECURITY
By the time in 8th grade I swore to god that everyone in my homeroom class hates me and that I only have 4 friends, who didn't considered me as a best friend. My mom by this time took an exam in the University of the Philippines for her masters degree and she got accepted, she told me that the administrators of the test told her that they look at their applicant's social media pages before making the decision in accepting them, this prompted me to delete a lot of my pictures, past posts, and all of the ridiculous chain mails on my Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram page.
There was also the time when my father told me to always be careful of what I'm posting in social media and not everyone needs to know every detail about me. This developed to become an insecurity as well. There's also insecurities about people, but that's for the third story.
THIRD STORY: FINDING REAL FRIENDS
I was getting along or I think I was getting along with everyone in 8th grade, but that only lasted until August 2014, I think. You see, when I first entered high school I was this snob, rich kid type of guy who came from a private school, so being sensitive and down to earth were not one of my virtues, my virtues consists of sarcasm, and fuck you I'm better than you, so, since I was only in my 2nd year of being in a public laboratory high school, I was still in a deep deep culture shock and I still possess some of those sarcasm and those former personalities, but when the people around me started to become like my former self I was overshadowed and it affected me badly. It became hard for me to interact with other people, and hearing people joke behind my back was not pleasant, and I was so unmotivated that I was failing in Math class (I don't think I can blame my depression here, I hate Math). It was becoming so hard for me to talk to other people and my teachers instead of helping me they labeled me weird and uncooperative.
Before 8th grade ended however I made sorry notes for everyone that I was "bad" to and I told them that I wish to become friends with them, at least my eighth grade ended in a positive light.
That is all, thank you for reading!!!
[edit 10/12/17:I just created a Facebook page, make sure you like it!!!]
FIRST STORY: WEIGHT INVOLVEMENT
I got so insecure about my weight when I became an 8th grade student, I became insecure about all the little details about myself that it became a habit of mine to stop taking pictures of me smiling and whatnot. My insecurities were my height, my weight, my teeth, my feet, my toe hair, my knees (I have a lot of childhood scabs), my face (acne started sprouting out of nowhere), my back (bacne), and my dick size (I'm a guy, this is natural). It was so weird, I was insecure about all of things and then I saw this one article that says that when you lose weight, your self-esteem rises up and you start glowing more, so I tried to lose weight.
I tried doing the no rice diet, but since I ate pasta and bread to make up for the rice I'm not eating, nothing came out of it. I stopped doing the diet when my father made me eat rice in a restaurant saying that the rice here is so expensive and that it would be a waste not to eat it, so I gave in and started eating again. By February 2015, I stumbled upon the 16:8 fast and I did it for 2 weeks with a 24 hour fast for each week. I lost 20 pounds, but I had to stop because my father's birthday was in March and its considered impolite not to eat in someone's birthday (in our culture). I tried going to the gym but it was so expensive that I stopped.
SECOND STORY: SOCIAL INSECURITY
By the time in 8th grade I swore to god that everyone in my homeroom class hates me and that I only have 4 friends, who didn't considered me as a best friend. My mom by this time took an exam in the University of the Philippines for her masters degree and she got accepted, she told me that the administrators of the test told her that they look at their applicant's social media pages before making the decision in accepting them, this prompted me to delete a lot of my pictures, past posts, and all of the ridiculous chain mails on my Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram page.
There was also the time when my father told me to always be careful of what I'm posting in social media and not everyone needs to know every detail about me. This developed to become an insecurity as well. There's also insecurities about people, but that's for the third story.
THIRD STORY: FINDING REAL FRIENDS
I was getting along or I think I was getting along with everyone in 8th grade, but that only lasted until August 2014, I think. You see, when I first entered high school I was this snob, rich kid type of guy who came from a private school, so being sensitive and down to earth were not one of my virtues, my virtues consists of sarcasm, and fuck you I'm better than you, so, since I was only in my 2nd year of being in a public laboratory high school, I was still in a deep deep culture shock and I still possess some of those sarcasm and those former personalities, but when the people around me started to become like my former self I was overshadowed and it affected me badly. It became hard for me to interact with other people, and hearing people joke behind my back was not pleasant, and I was so unmotivated that I was failing in Math class (I don't think I can blame my depression here, I hate Math). It was becoming so hard for me to talk to other people and my teachers instead of helping me they labeled me weird and uncooperative.
Before 8th grade ended however I made sorry notes for everyone that I was "bad" to and I told them that I wish to become friends with them, at least my eighth grade ended in a positive light.
That is all, thank you for reading!!!
[edit 10/12/17:I just created a Facebook page, make sure you like it!!!]
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